The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, making love carries enormous significance and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to very tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , leading to powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, love, nearness, and wellness .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They more than likely would not confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that a lot of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in urban locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying index full focus on your vision, goals, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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