The Sensuality Catch, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are attracted to incredibly hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , causing powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, closeness, well-being, and love .

However when problems occur, those who Bonuses fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a lot of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in cosmopolitan locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North includes, "I presume this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is important. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though see in some cases it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, This Site you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with common sense. While great sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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