The Intimacy Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex brings enormous significance and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted to incredibly tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, nearness, love, and well-being .

When issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They probably wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, states that much of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in city locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sex. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible, lots of gay men want to find out from the website link beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North adds, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow in time.

anonymous Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the Discover More hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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